translation
by Dojo Cat
Summary: what has dib done? read to find out. yeah, it's not pretty.... ZADR, i guess, so if you don't like it, please be kind enough not to flame. i didn't force you...i only WISH for such mind powers. lol. [complete] the madness NEVER ends! BWAHAHAHAHA! XD
1. what have i done?

**yes, i decided to write ANOTHER pointless fanfic. i got this idea from another story i read here, but decided to tweak it a little and drag it on even longer. so here you go. **

**disclaimer: i regrettably don't own invader zim or any of its characters... or profits... or anything. in fact, all i own is a dog. and while that is very very nice, it doesn't change the fact that i don't own invader zim. oh well. also, this is fanFICTION, so fear not, nobody is really dead. really. i mean it. quit panicking. seriously, you're starting to freak me out...**

**well... um... **

**enjoy.**

Regretting Every Minute

Chapter One

Dib's POV

"I... I... "

I killed him. I freaking don't believe it. I killed him.

I never thought it would come to this. Never in all the time I've been working against Zim, I never thought I would actually kill him.

I don't know what I thought would happen. Maybe I thought he'd just give up and go back to wherever it is he came from. I sort of hoped it would end that way. I may have been his enemy, but...

I didn't want him to die.

Maybe I thought I'd merely expose him as an alien, that the FBI would take him away and I'd be a hero for saving the Earth.

No, that was my imagination. Reality has a cold, deadly grip around my throat as I stand, numbed by shock at what I've done, watching Zim's lifeless form as he lies on the floor of his base.

I'll bet he never thought it would end here, either. Not this way. I doubt he thought I'd win in any way, least of all that I'd take his life. It's strange, but I find myself doubting that he would even have killed me if he'd gotten the chance.

And I suddenly realize: I wouldn't have either.

But if that's so, then why is Zim lying dead on the floor, dead by my own hands? I'd merely fired a gun in his general direction, purely in self-defense. To protect myself. I didn't understand what was happening. It was the same old story: he'd caught me trying to break into his lab and discover his plans. All I knew was that this wasn't his usual reaction. Something had changed, and while it felt somehow more threatening than ever before, it was almost...

I can't think of the word. There really isn't a word for that feeling that I picked up on in the mere instant before the gun fired. I can almost hear him now, declaring in his over-confident way, "Foolish human! That mere earth-weapon cannot defeat ZIM!"

Apparantly, Zim, it could defeat you.

It was that feeling that had caused me to fire the gun at all. I wasn't really worried that he'd hurt me--Zim was hardly a worthy adversary. But it was my fear of that feeling--I was afraid to even think of what it was--that had pulled the trigger.

"Zim... I-I... I didn;t want you to die...

"Please. Don't die. Don't die..."

I can hardly believe it's happening, but I take his hand, much like anybody would when pleading for somebody's life.

"Please..."

The slight twitch alerts me.

"Don't worry... I won't..."


	2. help

**thanks for your reviews. i like getting reviews because it lets me know that people are actually reading my stories. in the famous words of my fellow invader zim fan stephanie, i feel special. (right, so they're not famous. and now you know why). **

**well, here you go. i have to apologize for the long wait but i've been grounded this whole time. so i didn't stop writing because i want to torture you--it's because my dad wants to torture me.**

**R&R and have a nice life. :)**

Regretting Every Minute

Chapter Two

Zim's POV

And I _won't_ die, either. Not after what he said to me.

I know why he tried to kill me. I could see the fear in his eyes. For once in all the time I've known him, he was actually _afraid _of me.

And the truth is, I was afraid myself.

Seeing him in my base--_again_--I expected to feel the same twinge of annoyance that it always gives me. But instead, I got a very strange feeling. Almost as if I was _glad _to see him.

My first impulse was to sic Gir on him. But my basically useless robot quickly reminded me of how futile that would have been by greeting Dib enthusiastically. "We have company!" he'd exclaimed cheerfully.

I saw immediately that I'd have to take care of it myelf.

What Dib didn't know was that while I'd been gone, I'd been gathering supplies from the "hardware store", as the humans call it, to try and put it together to make something to fend off this sort of intrusion while I worked on my security system. I was taken by the irony of the situation, still holding the things I'd bought to fashion the weapon.

But it was catching him in the act that gave me pause. I'd come back to this scene many a time, but this was the first time I hadn't hesitated to attack.

And I don't know why.

"I'm alive," I reassure the human. The fear is gone, but it's been replaced by concern. Remorse. He feels sorry for what he's done.

I never thought he _could _feel sorry for doing anything to me. All he's ever shown toward me was the deepest animosty.

"Your primitive Earth-weapon only caused minor damage," I explain. "I'll be fine."

Dib continues to kneel by my side, staring into my eyes, as if he were waiting for some actual proof that I'm telling him the truth. That I will indeed be fine.

We stay this way for a few moments. I notice that for once in his pathetic existence he has an advantage. The "gun", as it's called, did very little damage, but I'm still in no condition to defend myself. He could attack now. Why doesn't he?

"Er... Dib?" It's the first time I can remember ever saying his name without a thread of malice and contempt.

"What?" He suddenly becomes anxious, alert, wondering what I'm trying to say. For once, I can't even tell him that if he'd just shut up I could say it. "Are you all right? What's wrong?"

"You... you can let go of my hand, now."

"Oh." He looks almost stunned, as if he didn't even realize he'd been holding it. He pulls me to my feet and puts his own hands behind his back. He seems kind of ashamed.

_Humans, _I think to myself. _I don't understand them or their stupid "emotions" at all._

I'd like to.

I quickly remind myself that understanding my enemy is the only way to destory it, but I know I'm lying to myself. It's a very uneasy feeling within me.

Is this what Dib is feeling?

"Are you sure you're all right?" Dib asks. "Listen, I could probably help you. I've got a first-aid kit at home. You're wounded, and I can fix it for you..."

Without warning the human seizes my arm and tugs me toward the elevator to the surface. He's... _helping _me? Why?

I don't need his help, really. But he seems so hell-bent on making it up to me, and...

He isn't really giving me a choice.

**ahem... define "making it up to you". **

**well, you know the drill. what are you waiting for? why aren't you reviewing? **

**um... it might have something to do with the fact that you're still reading this. okay, stop reading this and review already!**

**i TOLD you to stop reading and start reviewing! (yes, this was lame of me. but i just wanted to see how many people i could trick by doing this. i see it worked.) **

**FOOLISH HUMANS:) **


	3. first aid

**first-aid, he calls it. hmm... ;) **

Regretting Every Minute

Chapter Three

Dib's POV

I never thought it would come to this. Helping my worst enemy. And in my own home. How did this happen?

Maybe it was when I shot him.

But why? Why did I soot him? Why was I afraid?

I can tell Zim feels the same way. I saw it in the way he didn't even resist when I practically _dragged _him here. Either he's got that same feeling that I do, or he senses mine and I've got him off-guard.

Maybe both.

Carefully, I bind the wound. I don't know what to call it on Zim, but where-ever I shot him appears to be where a human's stomach would be. I never knew aliens bled red. All the conspiracy theroies I've read on the matter swear that their blood is green.

He sits quietly as I work, rolling the gauze around him again and again. He doesn't even seem to be too mad about it. The silence is almost unnerving. I almost wish he _would _berate me for doing this to him. I wish he would just call me a "stupid gun-shooting Earth-creature". It's what I am, after all.

I know he'll be all right. But the fact that I _could _have killed him bothers me so much. I hate myself. I'd be a murderer. How heroic can taking a life _be?_

"I'm sorry."

I don't even realize I've said it aloud until Zim replies, "Sorry for what?"

"For shooting you."

"Don't be," he says, sounding only slightly less dazed than he looks. "Your inferior gun-thingy is nothing to an Irken invader."

"But I didn't know that. I could have killed you. I-I... I'm sorry."

Zim regards me, looking intensly curious.

"You are?" he says at last.

"Yes. I'd do anything to make it up to you."

"Anything?" he presses.

"Anything," I confirm, securing the bandages and standing to admire my work. The work I've done repairing the damage I've done, anyway.

"Anything," he repeats again. "Fine."

He gets to his feet and looks into my eyes.

"Prove it."

**mua-hahahaha! i'm known for evil cliffies, and this time i'm not going to get myself grounded and leave you hanging even longer than i planned. welreviews welcome, flames not. :)**


	4. lost in translation

**okay, you poor souls have waited long enough (plus i freakin' got grounded again. being un-emancipated sucks so much). :I anyway... i found this ZADR site but i have no idea how i can get hyperlinks up here (or even if i can). so just write this down and type it and and click the little "go" button:**

**http/ be grateful to me for it. at least i HOPE you will... :) **

**oh, and also--it is realllllly hard to write zim's POV. so i think at least for the time being i'll stick with the dib POV and see how that goes. impermanance sucks almost as much as lack of emancipation. (ALMOST, but not quite...)**

Regretting Every Minute

Chapter Four

(still) Dib's POV

"How?"

What is he talking about? Prove it _how? _What could I possibly have that he wants?

This has to be the only time in my life that I have ever _wanted _to be proven wrong.

"I need to know things."

_Things? _

"Things?" I repeat my own thought, puzzled.

"Yes, _things._" Zim seems to be getting annoyed. "I know you're not as stupid as the rest of your species. Tell me things about Earth."

"Wait--isn't that what you came here to find out for yourself?"

"That's taking too long."

"Then why are you asking _me_?"

"Because if I ask anybody else, they'll know that I don't know and therefore am not _of_ this miserable planet. You already know, so trying to convince you otherwise is a waste of time. So tell me about Earth."

"What do you want to know?"

"What 'love' is."

The way he says it, I can tell he has no idea. And, to be perfectly honest, neither do I.

"Where did you hear that word?"

"From the 'television'. Gir is always watching these horrible shows in which two Earth-humans talk a lot and then put their lips together."

"Like kissing? You mean soap operas."

"Yes, _'soap operas'. _They use that word, 'love', constantly, and I want to know what it means."

"Well... it's... " I give up. "I don't exactly know. I mean, I _do _know, kind of. It's when two people like each other a lot."

"So it's a _feeling?_"

"Yeah. Kind of."

"How can you tell if you have it?"

"You say it like it's some kind of disease."

"It's isn't?"

"I guess it's kind of like that."

"So what does it feel like?"

"I... I wouldn't know. I've never been in love."

"I didn't think so. None of the other filthy human children seem to like you at all, let alone enough to _love_ you."

"Not really."

"I see."

Well, now what? "What else do you want to know?"

Zim looks surprised. "What else?"

"Yeah. Didn't you want to know anything else?"

"No, not really. I'll let you know when I need any more translations."

Oh.

"Well... 'bye."

"See you at skool?"

I guess now would be a good time to say something sarcastic. No, I'll see you at Bloaties, you stupid... alien,... thingy.

"Sure. See ya."

_I'll let you know when I need another translation. _

I wonder what he'll ask me to "translate" next.

**i don't. being thr author, i would know these things. and being readers, you don't. muahahahaha. well, i'll tell you later. ;)**


	5. beyond belief

**sorry if you had trouble finding this story after i went and changed the title. but life isn't fair. so deal with it. (notice that's like my catch phrase?). **

**okay, i hope you all enjoy reading this chapter as much as i enjoyed writing it. yeh, i think less dialogue would be better... i dunno, sometime you just get carried away with conversations, you know what i mean? **

**and even if you don't, you'll probably still like this chapter. :)**

**oh, and here's another deviant art thingy i thought you might enjoy (i sure did...):**

**http/ You Ever Needed To Know**

Chapter Five

(_still_) Dib's POV

"Morning Gaz."

My sister glares at me for a moment before turning her attention back to her video game. "Whatever."

"Gaz, can I ask you something?"

Gaz groans but pauses her game to look up at me. "What is it?"

I should be used to it by now, but I'm not. I can understand how she might be annoyed by me. But does she have to be so hateful about it?

"Zim's an alien."

"I _know _that. So what? You got another stupid plan to expose him?"

I bite my lip, hard, until I can nearly taste blood.

"Not exactly. Gaz--do you know what love means?"

It's not often she looks me straight in the eye, and less often still when I can tell she's doing it, but with her eyes wide open like this it's pretty obvious.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, what is 'love'?"

She's having as much trouble with this as I was yesterday.

"What does this have to do with Zim?"

_Now _I get it. She thinks that I'm asking her because I think I'm in love.

With Zim.

"No. No! It's not what you think, it's just--"

"Just what?"

Good question.

"He asked me yesterday. He asked me what 'love' meant."

"What did you say?"

"I couldn't explain it. That's why I asked you."

"What makes you think I know?"

"I don't know. I was just hoping maybe you would." **(yeah i know i said i'd lay off the dialogue but just keep reading--it will get better i promise).**

Gaz shakes her head slowly.

"Well I don't. Why did he want to know, anyway?"

"He heard it from some soap opera."

"Really?"

Why does she have to say it like that?

"What do you think?" I ask.

"That maybe he just wanted to know what you thought it meant."

Hold on...

"Wait--you think that he...?"

Loves me? Right. Now I've heard everything.

"I doubt he even knows what 'love' means. It's like a foreign concept to him. His whole race. He doesn't get it."

And neither do I. But I'd like to think I have a better understanding of it than Zim.

"Neither do you."

Gaz understands me better than anybody. And yet she can't help me. Nobody can.

I nearly took Zim's life, and I'm _going _to make up for it. If that means doing the impossible--finding out what "love" really means--then I'm _going_ to do it.

**alright, so i sorta broke my promise and put in more dialogue than i was going to. but i guess dialogue is a necessary evil. :)**


	6. love sickness

**yeah i changed the title again. i am very very very very sorry--but i just couldn't take it anymore! i get sick of some things so fast... **

**andalitebandit-6: sorry i had no idea how to make the hyperlink show up. you ought to just highlight the address as is and copy it in the address bar. then click "go" and you're all set. and yah gaz knows nothing--dib was just desperate. it's not like anybody else will talk to him. WHY do all of the skoll-children hate dib? WHY? also, like i said earlier, irkens aren't affected by gunshots as humans. **

**oh, and... the dictionary has no answers whatsoever. it gives a literal definition but it says nothing about HOW it happens, WHY it happens, and WHO it happens with. it's my belief that no two people have the exact same understanding of the word "love". **

**or maybe i'm wrong. statistically somewhere out there at least two people have the EXACT same explanation. i just don't know who they are. interesting fact--there are 7 billion people in the world at last count. since then, every second, two people die but five are born--a net gain of three people to our global population. so there are enough people out there wondering about the meaning of "love" for that to be possible. or am i reading too much into things? **

**wait--i almost forgot to mention; i'm going to try writing from zim's POV again. i don't know, maybe it's a 'practice makes perfect' type thing... maybe. **

Zim's POV

I've got enough to deal with for now.

I told him already--I'd let him know when I needed to know something else. He's already given me enough to think about for now.

All day, he was trying to tell me something. As if _he _had figured it out all on his own. Stupid humans and their stupid _emotions. _

I've given up on him on this one. Looking back on it, I suppose I could have gotten it all on my own--but I wanted to know if _he _already knew it. It had been bothering me for days, that "love" word, and Dib proved as useless as he always is.

But I don't need him, at least not this time. I think I've finally figured it out.

"GIR! Come here _now!_"

"Yes, sir!"

I quite enjoy the occasions on which Gir obeys me. Regrettably they aren't as frequent as I'd like.

"Look carefully at the moniter, Gir."

Vacantly, Gir stares at the screen.

"Don't you understand, Gir? _This _is that 'love' thing the Dib-human was trying to tell me about. _Look," _I point toward the image on the moniter. "Humans have a chemical reaction in their brains when they get around certain people, making them feel all _squirmy _inside.

"This floods their veins with some sort of love... drug... thing, and _that's _what happens to them! How could Dib _not _figure this _out?_"

Gir shrugs. "I don't know. I'm gonna go watch T.V.!"

Leaving me by myself.

I've figured out what "love" means to humans, but there's still something I don't understand.

Irkens are very different from humans. We can't be brought down by something as primitive as a stupid Earth-gun. We are much more intelligent, and much less... filthy. We are completely different, we have nothing in common. Our brains work differently--and much better.

_Humans _are the ones with the chemical reactions that do this to them.

So how is it that I have the same symptoms of this "love"-sickness?

**so now he's FINALLY catching on... sort of. okay, on with the story!**

"How can you _watch _that stupid television?"

Gir turns to face me. "Because... um... I dunno."

Those stupid soap opera things again. That's where I _heard _that word in the first place.

"I love you," one of the humans on the screen says softly.

"I love you too," says the other.1

There it is again. I hate that word.

But this time I notice something. Upon saying it, the two humans proceed to... what did Dib call it...?

Right. Kissing.

And as suddenly as it began, it stops. The two humans seperate and one walks away, leaving the other standing there... _stupidly. _

_Now _I understand.

And I know how to stop it.

**don't worry--he doesn't really. ;) **

**um... if you haven't already figured out where this is going, then good. i hate it when people figure something out before you can even WRITE it and then post their guess and ruin it for everybody else. you people make me sick (the story-ruiner people, not all of you). **

**well, SYL and have a nice life. **


	7. definition

**andalitebandit-6: i feel like such an idiot! i went over the chapters, and saw that the links somehow got cut off! and here i was thinking you just didn't get it. **

**well, since i can't remember what the address was anyway, and it probably wouldn't show up even if i did, just go on google and type in "ZADR", which will take you to that deviant art site where i found all of them. **

**anyway...**

**thank you for remaining blissfully unaware. besides, you're better off that way. knowing what was going to happen would ruin the suspense. and i know you don't want to do that.**

**actually, no, i don't know. i'm just guessing. but i wouldn't think you would...**

**okay, shutting up now. :) **

Dib's POV

Why wouldn't he talk to me? Just when I think I've got it figured out, he won't even let me tell him what it is.

It's absolutely useless trying to help him. He asks me a question, and I try to answer it for him, and he won't even _listen. _

He probably thinks he's got it all figured out. Probably back at his base right now, saying something along the lines of "Stupid human! The word is in his own stupid language and he doesn't even know what it means!"

And I'll bet he's got the wrong answer.

Why did he even ask me that stupid question in the first place? I would think he'd want to know more about the Earth, how to dominate the human race and conquer the planet. Why would he even bother asking me about something he heard on television?

Zim never did make much sense to me.

A frantic pounding on the front door jars me from my reverie. Begrudgingly, I get up from the couch and open it.

"Hiya!" Zim's little robot minion... thing... in his dog costume, wraps his arms around my waist. "I missed youuu."

"What are you doing here?"

"I don't remember." The robot thinks a minute, before adding, "oh, yeah, now I do!"

Before I have time to react, he grabs hold of my sleeve with his mouth and, kicking up his jets, speeds back to Zim's base, with me still attached.

"I found 'im, Master!" the robot yells, dragging me inside.

Zim, who was probably lurking in the shadows, waiting for me, steps into the light. "Good work, GIR. Now... go do... something. Elsewhere."

"I'm gonna play with a piggy!" GIR leaves, slamming the door shut behind him. Leaving me trapped here.

"What... what do you want, Zim?" I ask, hoping he'll ignore how shaky my voice is.

Zim says nothing, simply advances forward, slowly, step by step.

I back up instinctively, until my back hits the door.

"Revenge."

"What?" I think for a moment. "Oh, the shot. Listen, I thought we had a deal--"

"So did I," Zim snarls, eyes narrowing with his hatred towards me. "Until you started playing your little mind games."

In my surprise, I stop straining against the door.

"What? Mind games? What are you talking about?"

"You filthy lying human! I figured out what your stupid 'love' thing was. It's really a trick humans use to confuse their enemies so that they'll let their guard down and then you attack!

"Did you honestly think I was that stupid. To believe your answer? I figured either you were lying or you were too stupid to even know, so I did some research. It's no disease. It's mind control!"

I pause for a moment before tentatively asking, "Can I ask you something, Zim?"

Growling, he mutters, "Fine. What is it?"

"Have you completely lost your mind? Love isn't a mind control thing! It's a feeling!"

"You humans and your stupid _feelings_. You don't even know what it is, do you?"

I relent.

"No. But I don't think anybody does. I think the only way you can know what love is, is... if you're _in _love."

Zim tilts his head slightly, as if trying to look at me from a different angle, to try and make sense of it, as if my head were on wrong.

"It doesn't matter," he says finally. "Watching your stupid soap operas not only confused me, but it gave me a way to get rid of you once and for all!"

"Wait--"

I'm cut off by Zim's mouth pressed forcefully against mine. He holds my hands to the wall I'm standing against, to keep me still. After a few more moments of struggling, I finally give.

I kind of like this.

It's wrong. Terrible. Zim's an _alien_ A _monster_. He wants to destroy the Earth. He wants to destroy _me. _

_So why is he kissing me?_

It's two full minutes before he finally releases me, allowing me to slide into a sitting position. Numbed from the shock, I stay like this, arms wrapped around my legs, staring blankly ahead of me.

What just happened?

"Why isn't it working?" Zim asks. He's not asking me, he's thinking aloud. "When the humans on t.v. did it, the one who got 'kissed' disappeared. So why is the Dib-human still here?"

"It doesn't work like that," I reply. Zim turns, startled, as if he expected me to be gone by now.

"What did you say?"

"I said, it doesn't work like that. The person on t.v. probably just walked off-screen. Kissing doesn't destroy humans.

"It... bonds them.

"I think I finally have it figured out. Love isn't a disease _or _a mind game. It's a feeling, like I said. It's the most complicated feeling there is.

"You don't kiss someone to destory them. You kiss them because you love them. And when you love somebody, you want to be with them. You want to be bonded to them."

Zim is silent for a moment. Then,

"So... this means I'm stuck with you?"

"It depends. Are you in love with me?"

"I... " He falters. "Well, I... em... I have all the signs of being... in _love._

"I didn't think I was. I thought it was mind control. But I... I guess I am."

Well.

I doubt there's any defined emotion for this. It's not every day, after all, that a human falls in love with an alien that he hates... sort of.

How can you love and hate someone at the same time?

But I guess it really doesn't matter.

After all, if we can do the impossible--figure out what "normal" love is--we can define this, too.

**the end. **

**don't get too mad. i suck at endings. just look at what happened with my titans fic (please don't, though--it sucks even harder than this one). **

**but what i think isn't the issue. what i want to know is what you the people think. so review me already:) **


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